Would you die for her?
Would you die for her?
Written by: Tom Matlock
According to the US Census, in 2008 roughly 1.1 million children experienced what a broken home is like firsthand. We’ve all heard for years just how bad the divorce rate is. Many sources agree that roughly 40%-50% of first marriages in the US end in divorce. -The rate only climbs on subsequent marriages.
So what’s going on? What’s happening in our homes?
While there’s no shortage of excuses: the economy, job loss, irreconcilable differences, etc…, there must be a way for the believer to help protect his home from becoming a broken one and ending up another divorce statistic. So whether you or someone you know claims to have made the wrong choice, or “fallen out of love”, consider that God’s desire for us is to grow together in Him. The answer to an enduring marriage is Christ.
Over the years, we’ve been taught to example Christ in all things to both believers and non-believers. Yet, we lose sight of Christ at the end of a long day when we walk through the door and proclaim we are ready to have our needs/wants met. While we may have clocked out at work, we can’t clock out of our responsibility to those who look for our spiritual leadership and example. We have to examine what true love really is. -It’s the kind of love that denies self, serves others, and endures all…the love of Christ. And we have to be capable, with His help, of demonstrating His love in our homes.
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s Word. He did this to present her to Himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” Ephesians 5:25-29 (NLT)
I realize there are some clear words to wives in the same chapter, but let’s focus on our responsibility as husbands. What Paul is trying to help us see is that we are to submit ourselves to oneness in Christ and give up our lives for our spouses. If you are going to love your wife with the same love Christ showed you, you have to be willing to give up your life for her. How many people did Christ die for who claim to have accepted Him and yet live for someone else? This is not unlike making a covenant to love and care for our spouse, then relaxing into a routine built around self. Those whom the Lord has blessed with a great marriage will be quick to volunteer that marriage involves hundreds, if not thousands, of small sacrifices. Just as Christ’s love for us is not based on any of our own merit, your “task” as a husband is NOT to evaluate how well your wife is living to meet your needs and fulfill her end of the marriage deal. Your responsibility is to love her unconditionally with a love that shows Christ’s love for His bride, the church.
Too big a commitment? Remember, in following Christ you are showing your wife and children why they should seek out their heavenly Father and desire to cultivate a relationship with Him. When we sacrifice ourselves, we give them every reason to give themselves to Christ.
One of my deepest desires is to see my wife and children yearn to know their Father more intimately while confidently resting in Him as their all in all. To love Him in a way that causes them to give nothing less than their best for Him and His will for their lives. The reality is, this requires a conscious, deliberate action on my part. To die daily for my wife. To love her with an unrestrained, unconditional love, borne out of the love Christ has poured out on me. Will you make the commitment to “die” daily for your spouse? Join me as we seek to become the husbands and fathers God wants us to be.
Remember, until He calls us home, be effective for Him!